Pepper Plants- The Obituary

I've been trying to deny it for a while, but these pepper plants are straight-up dead.  They look exactly like a dead plant.  I bet a Google Image search of dead plant would turn up several pictures that look exactly like these.

I'm so sad, because it's nearly Spring!  I almost made it!  But that's not even true.  I'm acting like they just suddenly died this week, but in reality they have been dying for a long time.  

The first one died for real a long time ago.  It got spider mites, and I just dealt with that (emotionally, at least) because hey, I had two more that looked great!  About two months ago I noticed they had aphids. Then I started hearing Mike McGrath point out over and over that peppers like, always get aphids.  I did know that I was supposed to rinse them down really, really well before bringing them in, for this exact reason, but I didn't because I am lazy.  Once I saw the aphids, I knew I was supposed to rinse them off inside.  I got as far as moving one up to the bathroom so I could give it a shower, but after it sat there for a week or two, I came to the conclusion I was too lazy to do that as well.  

The aphids kept going.  When it was warm, I brought them outside, hoping that something would deal with the aphids for me.  They didn't have an aphid problem outside, right?  That's because something was keeping them under control, probably?  I did leave them out overnight, even though it wasn't really in the 50's overnight, but it was certainly not in the 30's.  And maybe that made it worse.  Not that it really matters.  

I had big plans for the peppers!  I was going to keep them around for years, and have little pepper trees.  I was thinking I would have to transplant them up to bigger pots, because by then they would have nice giant roots.  And now I have to deal with these monsters.  In the process of pulling them out of the pots, I would like to check out the roots a little bit.  I don't think they're really... root-intensive? Is that the word?  As Mike McGrath would describe it, their "life" is all above ground.  So it's not like it's going to grow back from the roots.  Right?  Maybe?  No, it won't.  Just stop.  

So yeah, I got two, actually three, nice big pots.  What am I going to put in them?!  Oh my god, nothing right now.  I will be buying pepper plants this year (I really thought I wouldn't have to, so sad) and probably I'll just use the same pots.  What peppers do I want to buy?  I mean, let's just buy the same shit again.  It went just fine, until they came inside.  My house is kind of a terrible place, maybe that's the problem.  Maybe the aphids live here already.  But yeah, I like Habeneros, and I like Jalapenos obviously, and maybe I'll get something else weird just to mix it up.  Or maybe I will try an Eggplant.  I've never grown that, of course.  

And next fall, am I going to try this shit again?  Am I going to actually wash them off like I'm supposed to?  Please?